Think about the last dinner table you sat at. The last group chat that made you laugh. The coworkers you see every day. If you do the math, someone in nearly every circle you belong to is quietly carrying the weight of infertility — and there's a good chance they haven't told a soul.

That's the hidden reality behind one of the most undertalked health issues in America. Infertility isn't rare. It isn't something that only happens to other people. It is incredibly, heartbreakingly common — and the silence surrounding it makes it feel far lonelier than it needs to be.

The Number That Should Change Everything

Let's put 1 in 6 into perspective for a moment.

Diabetes affects roughly 1 in 10 Americans. Infertility affects nearly 1 in 6. It's more common than most chronic conditions we openly talk about, raise money for, and treat as the serious health issues they are. Yet infertility rarely gets that same level of public recognition — or public compassion.

The WHO report that confirmed this 17.5% lifetime prevalence also made something else clear: infertility doesn't pick favorites. The rates are virtually identical across high-income, middle-income, and low-income countries. It crosses every border, every demographic, every zip code.

In the United States alone, the CDC reports that about 13.4% of women of reproductive age have some form of impaired fertility. And importantly — in about one-third of infertile couples, the challenge lies with the male partner. This is not just a "women's issue." It is a human issue.

What Does "1 in 6" Actually Look Like?

Statistics can feel abstract until you put them in context. Think about the last dinner table you sat at — statistically, if there were 12 people around it, 2 of them are navigating infertility right now. Think about your office, your group chat, your neighborhood. Someone in nearly every circle you belong to is quietly carrying this — and there's a good chance they haven't told a soul.

Infertility doesn't discriminate by age, income, health, or background. It touches people who "did everything right." It touches people who never expected it. And in most cases, it arrives without warning.

I know, because it arrived for us.

Why the Silence Makes It Worse

One of the cruelest aspects of infertility is how invisible it is. Pregnancy loss, failed IVF cycles, and years of trying — these experiences leave real scars. But because they happen privately, the world rarely makes room for the grief they carry.

When couples suffer in silence, they often convince themselves they're alone. That something must be uniquely wrong with them. That they shouldn't be hurting as much as they are. The myth that infertility is rare feeds exactly this kind of shame — and shame keeps people from seeking the support, community, and financial assistance that could change everything.

I remember sitting in waiting rooms, scrolling through Instagram, watching everyone else's life move forward while ours felt frozen. I felt broken. I felt like I was failing at something that seemed to come so naturally to everyone around me. What I didn't know then — what I wish someone had told me — is that so many of the people I was comparing myself to were quietly fighting the same battle.

The Financial Weight on Top of Everything Else

Here in Ohio, a single round of IVF averages $12,000. Most insurance plans provide little to no coverage. The CDC reports nearly 390,000 IVF cycles were performed in the U.S. in 2022 alone — and most people need more than one round.

For my husband and me, the financial pressure compounded everything else. The stress of treatment is already enormous. Adding the weight of "can we even afford to keep trying?" makes it almost unbearable. We were lucky to get through it. But I know firsthand that luck isn't a system, and it isn't fair.

That's why I started the Pursuit of Rainbows Foundation. Not to solve every piece of this — but to lift one part of the burden. To say to another couple what I needed someone to say to me: you shouldn't have to choose between your financial future and the family you dream of. And we're here to help.

What Actually Helps

Research is consistent on one thing: social support makes a measurable difference. The connection doesn't have to be complicated — it just has to be real.

You don't need to know the right thing to say. You don't need to understand every step of the IVF process. What you need is to show up and mean it. To not disappear when things get hard. To not offer silver linings when someone just needs to be heard.

If you're going through this yourself: you are not broken. You are not failing. You are navigating one of the most emotionally complex medical journeys a person can take — and the fact that it's hard is not a reflection of your strength. It's a reflection of how much this matters to you.

And if someone in your life is going through this: the most powerful thing you can offer costs nothing. Just presence. Just staying.

Breaking the Silence, One Conversation at a Time

The statistic is 1 in 6. But behind that number are real people — in Ohio, in your neighborhood, in your family — who are hoping and waiting and grieving and trying again. They deserve to feel less alone in that.

Every time we talk openly about infertility, we make it a little easier for the next person to say "me too." Every grant we fund removes one financial barrier. Every story shared reminds someone that their journey matters and their community sees them.

In 2020, my husband and I welcomed our rainbow baby, Andrew. He is the greatest joy of our lives — and he is the reason I wake up every day committed to making sure another family gets that same chance.

That's the pursuit. That's the rainbow worth chasing.

If you or someone you love is navigating infertility in Ohio, learn more about our fertility grants at pursuitofrainbows.org/grant-application or make a donation at givebutter.com/mhUFS5 to help us support the next family on their journey.

You are not alone. And neither is the person sitting next to you who hasn't said a word yet. 🌈